I have to get away or else the history will repeat itself. I do not want any of those to happen again because I never want to hurt him again. Sometimes I feel confused if I should go back, but I guess no. Yeah maybe I feel like going back but... this is the path that I chose, the path away from him... A path with Linus...
But to tell you the truth.. I am not happy. In fact I still feel empty. He isnt what I need but I am doing my best to stay with him and make it work somehow.
Linus is really kind. To endure so much pain for me, he witnessed my foolishness on the act and he is still there for me.. as strong as ever trying to hold on. But I guess it really is me who has problem. I feel sad and I want some time away from him, really far away from him. But that will make him really sad.
But I really don't know why despite all the kindness Linus had showed me, I can't stop my fingers from typing the url of his blog (my ex). I'm like a stalker or something T_T. No.. I am not a stalker. Maybe there are still many things left unsaid, yes, there are many things I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him that I am sorry and that I don;t know why I am like this. I wanted him to understand me but he can't. Instead of understanding me, he uttered painful words instead. It hurts. It really hurts to expect things work even if it can never work.
But to tell you the truth.. I am not happy. In fact I still feel empty. He isnt what I need but I am doing my best to stay with him and make it work somehow.
Linus is really kind. To endure so much pain for me, he witnessed my foolishness on the act and he is still there for me.. as strong as ever trying to hold on. But I guess it really is me who has problem. I feel sad and I want some time away from him, really far away from him. But that will make him really sad.
But I really don't know why despite all the kindness Linus had showed me, I can't stop my fingers from typing the url of his blog (my ex). I'm like a stalker or something T_T. No.. I am not a stalker. Maybe there are still many things left unsaid, yes, there are many things I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him that I am sorry and that I don;t know why I am like this. I wanted him to understand me but he can't. Instead of understanding me, he uttered painful words instead. It hurts. It really hurts to expect things work even if it can never work.